A Third Way

I get married in 4 days.

I know most people who read this blog are probably married and you’ve been there, done that. But for me this is a first time experience and after living for 35 years by myself (I’ve been in share houses etc, but it’s basically by yourself) this new adventure feels more like jumping out of a plane than photographing sunsets.

I’ve moved most of my ‘stuff’ into our new apartment. It’s nice. We can see the ocean and we’re perched on the top floor which makes it feel like we are sitting amongst the clouds.

But this is not cloud city, it is about to become a marriage pad. Two people are planning to move in on the same turf and live life together. This is exciting and frustrating all at the same time.

Naomi has her way of doing things, I have mine.

I realised as we were chatting on the weekend that ‘how’ we live cannot be simply a division of habits. As we were chatting about how we would organise laundry, do the cooking, put the toilet paper on the roll (paper over? Or paper under?) the whole thing started to feel like a process of merely ‘giving ground’ to the other person.

“I’ll let you leave the bin under the sink, if you agree that we can keep a laundry basket in the bedroom.” *

One of the things that the Bible is big on is the idea that marriage is a ‘one flesh’ union. Two people become one united unit. That got me thinking about how the ‘giving ground’ scenario doesn’t really work. Instead of us doing some things her way and some things my way we actually need to develop a third way – ‘our way’.

‘Our way’ will of course involve combinations of how each of us used to live, but it also reminds us that at every turn both of us will need to change.

This way reminds us that there is no ‘ground’ to be yielded, for we are starting something new. That really excites me!

Lando Calrrisian ruled cloud city pretty well. It was a peaceful city and provided security. However he ultimately let the Empire in – they captured Hans and put him in carbonite for who knows how long.

Our cloud city is going to be different. I’m no Lando and this is not a space to be ‘ruled’. I’m looking forward to finding a third way that will bless each other and others in our living space.

*This particular conversation never actually took place.

Protesters, latte’s and the meaning of life.

I was just walking through Sydney Uni. I’ve taken a day off to recover from some sort of fever or head cold or something. The sun on my face is healing and the buzz of a lunchtime university crowd is good for the soul.
Everyone is sprawled across the lawns, eating sandwiches and drinking coffee. Scattered around the place are stalls for different clubs – one for sports, another organising a protest out the front of Fisher library at 3pm – I walk past the Sydney Law Review table. Five people standing around talking quickly, arms flying around the air.

I’m always on the lookout for what it is that makes life worth living. Even as a Christian I’ve had my fair share of seasons that feel useless or meaningless or just plain dark. So in the back of my mind, making sense of the human condition is a constant hobby and on a personal note it is a daily search.

As I walked around the university that day it dawned on me with such clarity;
We crave to be part of something bigger,
And that something bigger must involve some sort of tangible action.
Something of worth, of value, something that is tangible.

Humans flourish when we work together to tend the garden. That’s a phrase I get from Genesis 1. It’s the biblical concept that God gave us our lives in order that we would do something with them, something tangible, together, for the good of the world.

I feel like there has been a slight disconnection for me on this front.

Now don’t get me wrong, I know this is not a new concept. I have been talking about the need for humans to be part of something bigger for donkey’s years. But what really struck me today as I looked at those organising the protest and the people recruiting for University Games and the Law students planning their review was that this ‘something bigger’ must be doing something tangible.

It must be doing something that has worth which can been seen and touched and enjoyed.
It is a challenge for my own life and my approach to daily tasks.

I think it is also a challenge to our Christian communities scattered around Sydney.

We are very good at reminding each other that we are part of something bigger! That is what the Gospel of Jesus is all about – that God should enter our world in order to lead us into his eternal, life affirming world.

However, I wonder if as communities we are doing something together of tangible worth?

On Engagement and Growing Up.

I listened to the Counting Crows on the morning that I proposed to Naomi. I know for those who never got into them the Counting Crows are no more than a whiny, over emotional 90’s band. But for those of us who were hooked by August and Everything After, lead singer Adam Duritz provided a poetic glimpse into the pain and joy of relationships, regret and new beginnings.

Ode to Melancholy could have been written by Duritz. I think him and Keats would have been best friends if they weren’t separated by a century of time.

I listened to the Counting Crows because they represent all the longings of my 20’s. The desire captured in his strained voice; “All my friends and lovers leave me behind and I’m still looking for a girl” echoes the why me of much of life’s disappointments.

Adam Duritz is 50 this year and from what I can gather is still looking.

I listened to the Counting Crows as a reminder of how far I’ve moved forward, grown up. It’s so easy to get caught up in the melancholy of life and find a sort of joy in the constant disappointment but ultimately that approach is kind of boyish.

The idea of marriage cuts through all of this – primarily because it’s a relationship that is not about you. As far as I can work it out, marriage doesn’t let you find joy in your own disappointments because the focus is the other person. To bring them joy and to help with their disappointments. It’s also about two people coming together with a purpose much bigger than just themselves – that is to serve God – to love him and to bless others in a way that you couldn’t do on your own. At least that’s what I get from the Bible about marriage.

And so I listened to the Counting Crows on the morning of the 8^th as a farewell ritual.

When I got down on my knee at Clovelly head land and asked Na to marry me I felt excitement but I also felt a deep sense of responsibility. Getting engaged at 34 is different to 23. You know there are a hundred and one ways that your life will need to change and you know only some of them are going to be fun. The season of why me is over. Whilst there is a part of me that would love to stay up all night having beers with Adam Duritz and sharing stories about the ones that got away I think the seemingly eternal adolescences that the Crows represent has to come to an end.

Naomi is a woman who is fun, spontaneous, emotional, godly, smart, patient (very patient!) and extremely beautiful. I never like her going home at the end of the night and I deeply desire to do life with her – and I don’t mean the mountain tops, I mean the daily’s – washing, vacuuming, cooking, tv watching, exercising and sharing Jesus with friends.

Adam Duritz has been a good companion but it’s time for someone real.

Why it’s Good to be a Christian School

3.      We provide the depth to education that is needed in human flourishing

It was Socrates that said; “the unexamined life is not worth living”. Too often our education system can simply become a treadmill to university which in turn becomes a treadmill to the workforce. Whilst a good job can certainly be the fruit of a good education it should not be the goal. Genuine education involves a profound change of personhood as we come face to face with new truths and worldviews that push us beyond the familiar. To deny students access to an array of perspectives is to limit their own development as young men.

As a Christian school we ensure a deep and rounded educational experience by combining intellectual, physical and spiritual. Your son will be challenged to think beyond his day to day needs to the broader questions of purpose and meaning in life.

At Cranbrook we use Jesus as our entry point into the spiritual. Jesus has had a profound impact on the world in which we live and we use his command to “Love God with all our heart, soul and mind and love our neighbour as ourselves” as a door way beyond ourselves. We will encourage your son to have a grander view of the world than just his own life and invite him to consider the ways he may actually seek the good of others as the key to human flourishing. At no point will any student be forced or expected to hold this view as his own personal belief but we believe that being challenged with this perspective will deepen and add value to his educational experience.

 

Why it’s good to be a Christian school

2.      We have a foundation for community that is second to none

Communities are always complex. Bring 2 or more people together for any extended period of time and there are bound to be problems. Here at Cranbrook we have a community of students, teaching staff, support staff, admin staff and parents that is vast. Our Christian foundation provides us with the perfect stability upon which to build such a community.

Christians have been thinking about how best to run communities for over 2000 years! Both Jesus and the apostle Paul made it clear what the key ingredient for real community is – love – plain and simple. And the particular expression of love that is emphasised is humility – seeking the good of the other, even at cost to oneself. This picture of humility is not plucked from thin air but rather is emphasised because it is the very character of God. God is a God who loves us at cost to himself as most clearly seen in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus.

And so as your son enters Cranbrook – an Anglican school, a Christian school, he is entering a community that is guided by love. He will be cared for by staff and other students and he himself will be challenged and encouraged to care for others. It is a great foundation for a community like ours. I would say it is the best!

Why it’s good to be a Christian School

1.      We welcome all people, from all cultures and all beliefs.

I am often asked whether we accept students of differing faiths despite the fact that we are an Anglican School. I like to inform parents that it is not despite but because we are an Anglican school that we welcome all students from all cultures and all beliefs.

At the core of the Biblical picture of humanity is that each and every human is inherently valuable because they have been created in the very image of God! It was this Christian doctrine that drove the early church to care for the sick, the widows and the discarded children in the ancient world. It was this Christian doctrine that drove William Wilberforce to bring an end to slavery in the British Empire; Martin Luther King Jnr to fight for racial equality and Nelson Mandela to bring an end to apartheid in South Africa.

A Christian school sees each and every student who enters the gates as inherently valuable because of our Biblical foundations and this means your son will be most welcome here, whatever his back ground, whatever his beliefs.

Evolved Into Bystanders

The Bible is a pretty old book.

I know we’re sceptical of old things. Old people aren’t revered they are put in homes. Old appliances aren’t kept but thrown away. Old training methods are replaced with new, quicker, more scientific training methods.

We hate the old because a lot of us believe things are getting better. Social Darwinism proclaims that humanity is on a constant plain of improvement. A few bumps here and there but otherwise the theory is that we are more developed and therefore better than those who lived 2000 or 3000 years ago – it’s science.

Or so it seems. In his brilliant essay The Funeral of a Great Myth C.S Lewis masterfully highlights the grave mistake of not distinguishing between the truth of biological evolution with the myth of social evolution. If you haven’t yet read it go do it! HERE

Maybe we aren’t as far ahead of our ancient counterparts as we like to think. Maybe the question of right and wrong, good and evil and how we should act is the same today as yesterday as the turn of the millennium.

I say this because in the Bible, the author of the book of Romans (Paul), writes that part of our human problem is that we are sinful. That means we have stopped worshiping and listening to God (who is good, generous and has designed us for love) and instead bunkered down in our own little worlds – trying to make something better than God could do. Now of course a large part of this rejection of God leads to us becoming our own Gods (legends in our lunch boxes, the centre’s of our own worlds, etc, etc).

Here is the interesting bit – Paul says that a fruit of this is that we ‘invent ways of doing evil’ and while we know that what is going on is wrong we stand back and applaud each others actions. We end up just looking after number 1 and we only love others if it will benefit us.

ENTER the story of Aida;

As reported HERE in the SMH 16/1/2014

“Yet, as a 29-year-old Sydney woman known only as “Aida” discovered this week, a crowd of people can be watching and you can still be very much on your own. At 4.30pm on Monday, on busy Railway Street in Liverpool, Aida fought off a man who tried to drag her into a car. There were three other men inside the car. There were “dozens of people around”.

Not one of the people came to Aida’s assistance, despite her screams.”

Here is the rub, when writing about this situation, the journalist did not seek to make any moral judgement on the bystanders, instead she writes the following;
“It’s easy to have a reflex response to such an incident with all its horrible echoes of the Anita Cobby case. Someone is in trouble. You help them. If you don’t, you are morally flawed and/or a coward. But psychologists offer an alternative view. They call it the “bystander effect”.”

Apparently it’s natural for us to not want to help and this innate desire grows larger as the size of the crowd watching increases.

In the past such an act – to stand by as a woman is abducted by thugs – would be called wrong. Because we were so strongly influenced by Jesus words to love our neighbour and to seek the good of the other. Some may have called it a sin of omission.
But we’ve moved on from that haven’t we?
We don’t need Jesus any more with those archaic throwaway lines.

We’re far more advanced in 2014 and we’re clearly better for it. Our Psychologists support our indifference to another’s suffering, confirming that the evolved life really is all about me.

But I wonder if maybe, just maybe we know that this is not what an evolved life looks like.

And if that’s the case, then maybe Jesus still has something to teach us.

The Best Rest

As I write this I am looking at several pelicans paddle past on the sundrenched water. It’s 7:45pm and the sun looks tired, almost thankful that it can drop beneath the tree line in search of rest. Two ducks are walking along the grass in in search of something tasty living amongst the buffalo.

I think true rest needs nature.

If you can’t hear the call of a Kookaburra in the trees and see the glisten of the sun on the water then it doesn’t count. It might pass as ‘time off’ but not rest.

I’m a city boy. I’m terrible at organising time away – even though we own a beauitful little house on the Crookhaven River at Orient Point. I’m glad I’m here now though. It’s reminded me exactly what I’ve missed.

As I write this Naomi is sitting on the deck reading her Bible. I’ve been getting up at 6:30am to watch the sun rise, the birds fly off to Greenwell Point and read my Bible. Four chapters of the Bible a day with a coffee. Reading of God’s holiness in Genesis, his faithfulness in Ezra, his total and complete presence in the person of Jesus and the boldness of the men and woman in Acts.

I think true rest needs God.

Not just a vague spiritual ‘feeling’ but a real, tangible reading of God’s character and his great acts of love towards us in the Scriptures. What better rest is there than being reminded that we are part of something must bigger than ourselves. That we are loved, that we have purpose and hope.

It was great sharing this time down south with Simon and Michelle Walker. A beautiful couple who share a great love of both nature and God. Michelle is pregnant and due any day but she and Simon made the trip down to share it with us. We took turns in making dinner, we drunk wine, we spoke of how to solve all the worlds problems and we played hours of Carcassonne – you know it’s holidays when you’re playing board games.

I think true rest needs community.

Real friends, who share your heart and love to suck the marrow out of life. Nothing is the same when you can’t share it. I’m so thankful for these guys.

It might surprise you but the concept of standing before the pearly gates and being welcomed into a cloud city called heaven is not really all that biblical. Rather, the Bible speaks of the new creation – a real, physical, beautiful creation ruled by Jesus and filled by his people. It’s a perfect place – there is joy, love and contentment.

This is rest.

I guess the best rest we can experience this side of heaven must involve all the things that will be ‘everday’ experiences in the New Creation.

God is pretty generous to give us a taste of the good things to come.

How Bible Plan’s Work

This week I began a Bible reading plan which aims to take you through the whole Bible in a year. I was inspired by my brother Scott who was asking around about the best plans and also by Dave Miers who has blogged about it recently (which you can read about here: http://davemiers.com/).

I have chosen Don Carson’s For The Love Of God, Volume 2.

Each day you read 4 chapters of the Bible (following Robert Murray M’Cheyne’s plan). This morning I read;

Genesis 4
Matthew 4
Ezra 4
Acts 4

Now this is the cool part of how it all fits – This morning I read in Genesis 4 of the continuing wickedness of people who refuse to listen to their loving God. This was seen in Cain killing his brother Abel. Then in Ezra 4 we read of the opposition to building the temple that was thrown at the Israelites after returning from exile. Flip over to Acts 4 and Peter and John face great opposition as they are thrown in prison for declaring the name of Jesus and healing a lame man in His name. In other words – all the readings are about opposition to God and to those who seek to follow him.

But amidst the readings we have Matthew 4. Jesus going into the desert to be tempted by Satan. Jesus feeling hungry and lonely facing opposition to his mission from the greatest foe – tempting him with pleasure (food), power and control.
Yet at the height of the temptation, what do we see? Jesus resists. He doesn’t give in. And he returns from the desert as obedient and as Godly as when he first went in.

I take it from my 4 readings this morning that it isn’t easy to follow God in this broken down world. But there has been one who has done it for me already. Jesus, the righteous one.
It is He who is righteous, not me.
It is Jesus who will guide me through my own temptations, opposition, failings and victories.

Yesterday I reaped the bad fruit of some bad decisions and I was all to aware of my own limitations and failings.

This morning I am glad to read that Jesus has got it sorted for me if only I will listen, follow and celebrate his victory.

Holdiay Reading 1: Broken-Down House, Paul Trip

This is a simple, straight forward book that gives honest reflections on living the Christian life.

We live in a world of distraction and hype. Death is not discussed, pain is to be avoided at all cost and anyone who gives an honest reflection that this hyped up, online, fast paced world is actually not all that great is treated like a heretic.

That’s probably why I enjoyed reading this book. Tripp just calls it as it is. There are not theological twists, there are no ‘new’ ideas put forward, it is just a simple discussion about what the Bible says about life in this world – To live productively in a world gone bad

As the title suggest Tripp uses the metaphor of a broken down house.

Both our world and our own lives are not as they are meant to be. We are broken. There is still much good in life but it is constantly interrupted by the brokenness that surrounds us and resides within us. Tripp describes the Christian journey as a difficult one as we seek to live in a house that God is in the process of restoring. In committing ourselves to Jesus we commit ourselves to his lordship and restoration of our own lives – but this is never easy.

“The fact that you live in a broken-down house in the midst of restoration makes everything more difficult. It removes the ease and simplicity of life. It requires you to be more thoughtful, more careful. It requires you to listen and see well. It requires you to look out for difficulty and to be aware of danger. It requires you to contemplate and plan. It requires you to do what you don’t really want to do and to accept what you find difficult to accept. You want to simply coast, but you can’t. Things are broken and they need to be fixed. There is work to do.” P.19

Tripp does not call us to work by simply trying harder, but rather by giving a vision and providing an understanding of God’s plans for this world and his plan for our life through his Son Jesus. In this way we work with God in the powerful process of bringing restoration to broken places.

I admire Tripp’s ability to be honest about the difficulties of the Christian life without leaving us in despair. His focus is on God’s love for the brokenness and His plan to restore that which he loves. The burden is not on us, but we are called to partake in his beautiful rebuild.

Part One is all about Knowing.

Knowing how broken this world really is

Knowing how broken we as individuals really are

Knowing our limits and our weaknesses

Knowing God has ultimate control

Knowing why placing our trust in God’s control works

Knowing how to have an eternal focus and to seek to do good whilst also giving ourselves permission to be angry at the state that sin has left our world in.

One particular section stood out where Tripp highlights how limited we really are as human creatures;

“You can only be in one place at a time. You can only be in one time at a time: You cannot propel yourself back into the past or launch yourself into the future; your existence is permanently anchored in the here and now.

You cannot think things into existence or alter what has already happened. You cannot remove a conversation from history or redo a disappointing day. You cannot know the details of tomorrow, let alone know exactly where you will be in five year!

You cannot decide you are bored with gravity and want to be free of it. You cannot make a personal commitment to do without oxygen and remain alive. You cannot read or reliably predict the thoughts of another. You cannot control thoughts, desires, words, or actions of another human being. You cannot keep yourself from aging, as hard as some of us will try.

You cannot release yourself or your surroundings from the effects of the fall. You cannot assure that your body will be free of disease and sickness. You cannot independently free yourself or another from sin. You cannot reach in and alter the content of your own heart, let alone the heart of another. You cannot plant faith, courage, and hope into the soul of another person. You cannot assure that your government will have integrity or your community will be safe. You cannot make your acquaintances respect you, and you cannot assure your family members will treat you with love. You cannot keep yourself free from natural and environmental disaster. You cannot control the economic environment, making sure that it does not alter your financial health. You cannot lay out a personal life plan and know it will unfold without interruption. You cannot assure that your life will be easy and satisfying.”

Rather than depressing his readers, Tripp see’s our limitations as a powerful entry point towards trusting the one who is in control in such a broken down world.

Part Two is all about Doing.

Reject Passivity

Pursue Community

Determine to love

Celebrate grace

Minister everywhere

Examine your legacy

This back half is all practical. Tripp gives 3 pages of examples of ways you can actually love others; from being willing to live with an open house to being willing to endure tense and uncomfortable situations lovingly.

He suggest that to live with an eye fixed on grace is actually a battle we have to fight in a world that is saturated in merit.

And he calls us to seek to break down the walls in our lives between ‘ministry’ and the ‘rest of life’. “Remember, in this broken-down house that we all live in, every room of life is at the same time a forum for ministry. You will never face a day that is not filled with ministry need and opportunity. The questions are, Are your eyes open to the need, and Are you capturing the God-given opportunities?”

There were not a lot of new ideas in this book for me. But it is helping me see that I have doubted God’s plan of restoration. I have felt more of the broken down nature of both my life and my world and it’s just left me flat.

To engage the heart we need a vision and a mission and to be honest the best vision and mission is right there in the pages of scripture. It is right there in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus. It is honest about our world and hope filled about our future.